So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
