so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
never play flip cup with pint glasses
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
