We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
