Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
