I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
