Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it was like eating out sand paper
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
