I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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