can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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