Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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