hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
