Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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