i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
