I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
