So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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