I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
