Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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