everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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