And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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