Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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