i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
