it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
