dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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