But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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