I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
