He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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