Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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