So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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