nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
