i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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