Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
