Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
