Sry I called you an 8
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
