Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
