Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
