he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
