so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
