she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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