whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize