when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
