My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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