i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
