dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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