You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize