I'm pants shitting drunk right now
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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