She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
