Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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