The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
