Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize