that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
