so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize