69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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