and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
