its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
