I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
