What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
