Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
