awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
