Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Randomize
