Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
