I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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