my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Your dad touched me again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
