Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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