he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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