His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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