I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
