I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
