did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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