Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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