I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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