I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
