At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
