after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
