It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
