It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
