one two three fourrrrnication!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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