im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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