Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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