i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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