I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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