My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
