how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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